Why is self-care such a buzzword lately?

Self-care has been super trendy for the last few years. It seems you can’t get on Pinterest or Instagram without seeing a bunch of self-care propaganda. Is propaganda the right word? Who knows? What I do know is that articles, books, bumber stickers, and awide spread of other perafnelia are running rampant through our culture. As I’ve come to learn, it’s not just something that is only trendy and reserved for the desperate housewives, but it’s a necessity for every single person on this earth.   

We all have those moments, days, months, or even years in life that we just feel off, down, overwhelmed, or even a little depressed. 

It’s easy to get caught up in life and your day to day responsibilities.  Day after day it’s the same routine and it sometimes feels like life goes by so quickly.

In general, it’s important to take care of yourself, but that becomes even more necessary when you are experiencing extreme stress.

Meaning divorce, any breakup really, or death, job loss, times like these require you to focus on yourself in order to heal. After all the shit I’ve been through this year, and last year…  I have found that I need to rely heavily on self-care in order to vibrate higher to my best self. You know, the perfect version of ourselves we all hope to be and try our best to pretend to be.

The beauty of being in your 30s means that you have dealt with a lot of shit in your day and know yourself fairly well. 

I’ve been blessed with the opportunity to spend a lot of time alone the last two years (insert sarcasm here). This means I have had a lot of time for self-reflection on this whole journey the past few years so I’ve started to recognize things about myself and learned to do what I need to to be a rational, sane human.  #adulting

I find that I can give to those around me better and more sincerely (word choice) when I am also taking care of myself.  On the contrary, the days I feel short with my friends and family, annoyed by my coworkers or boss, and just plain pissy, it’s usually because I’ve been denying myself of something I need to fill my tank.  

Like a car that runs out of gas, you have to fill yourself first in order care for others. 

When I’m lacking sleep, not taking alone time, overworking myself, not enjoying some relaxation, I am not full enough to care for anyone else.  Cue the snapping comments, bitchy tone, random tears, depression, or otherwise negativity. Sometimes when I say yes instead of no, I feel  snippy, annoyed, sad, overwhelemd and out of sorts all at the same time. My therapist said once that it is not someone elses fault that I said yes isntead of no so I cannot take this out on them when I made the choice. Read that again. Your mood is your problem. 

So how do you fix that running on empty, seconds from tears, hot mess express??? 

I’ll tell you.  As I said it my self-care plan depends on what exactly I’m missing at the moment.  Some of the things that trigger me are a lack of work on my passion projects, insomnia, over-committing, and no alone time. 

Make a self-care checklist. 

For me, I like to start by figuring out what’s going on exactly.  Where are the nagging thoughts coming in?  What exactly do I feel like I’m failing at?  Are there responsibilities tasks or duties that I am missing?  Is there a project that needs a little more focus? Do I need to order pizza and watch Netflix all day? I ask myself honestly, what do I need to do in order to get back on track?  So I make a quick list jotting down my thoughts, feelings, and tasks.  I ask myself how do I want to feel and then check in with myself on how to get there. I feel so much better after a quick chat with myself about what’s going on in my mind/body and then I have a clear list of what I need to do next.

Stop thinking about what you should do and just do what is going to help you the most at this point in time.